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An article about 'Ridiculous Dates'...
by
Ian McNeice
I was
thinking the other day that I have been on
some ridiculous dates in my time. Some have
been a waste of my time and some have been
utter fiasco's that barely require
repeating. I got wondering as to how they
happened in the first place and my answer
was that I had let my guard down and had
began to date people who weren't really
compatible at all. Maybe it was because of
recent abstinence from sex, or perhaps due
to a need for company and affection - but in
these circumstances I find myself agreeing
to all sorts of idiocy.
Be assured that when you are
dating you will meet your fair share of eccentrics, wasters and
fools. You will meet those who will simply waste your time, show
you little respect or have no idea why they are there. You will
meet those who will make excuses and leave and a few who will
not turn up at all. And on almost all occasions you do well to
realize that it has very little to do with you. It takes all
kinds to make a world and you will meet all kinds when you are
dating.
The thing to remember when dating
is that you are almost certain not going to hit the jackpot
first time. It does happen occasionally particularly when
younger (but for other reasons); but as we grow older we have
harder criteria to meet and match with. Dating is a lottery,
that's for sure. People will date you to see whether they can
date you. They don't really want it to go anywhere, they simply
want the sense of achievement from you saying yes. And that
applies to men and to women.
I have met some real losers in my
time. People who hadn't got a clue what they were doing. People
who had probably last been to dinner when the menu was written
in Latin. I have met the socially inept, the downright arrogant,
the rude and vicious, the loud and raucous and the occasional
stalker. And looking back I probably wouldn't have changed a
thing except to say that I wish they hadn't cost me so much
money and wasted so much of my time. The real ridiculous losers
who I wish I had never dated are the ones who wasted more of my
time that I can remember. The ones who kept me hanging on whilst
they sorted out their own frail mental well-being. The ones who
were 'confused' about their feelings and weren't sure if they
could commit. Oh please. The most ridiculous people I have dated
though without a doubt were the people who told lies and thought
I would be too stupid to spot them.
Here is a lovely list of some
ridiculous dating scenarios I have encountered over the years. I
am sure yours are better or similar to mine but it just goes to
show my friends that we are not alone! I have not included names
to spare the not-so-innocent but you know who you are.
-
A girl I met in New York and
temporarily dated for a few weeks decided to spend three
months phoning me every day when I was in Toronto. As she
was a great girl I was extremely flattered but very wary as
she had not been able to give any commitment previously.
Anyway after being harangued for three months I relented and
agreed to a romantic weekend back in Manhattan with her as
she lived in New Jersey. She duly arranged my flights via
Pittsburgh to La Guardia and booked me into the Grand Hyatt
on 42nd Street for 3 nights. On landing I phoned her on a
her cell phone to see where we would be meeting and she said
that this weekend was not so good as she was busy ! She said
she may be able to meet for dinner on Sunday evening! Today
was Friday. So I spent three solitary days in New York by
myself seeing the sights and walking for miles. I never did
get an explanation but lets just say that I decided she was
insane.
-
I met a very excitable girl
on a dating site who seemed to be really lovely. After a
couple of weeks of chatting I agreed to get the train to
London where we could meet for dinner. As I was pulling into
the station after a 6 hours journey beginning at 5am my
phone rang. The girl asked if I had arrived and we had a
short chat. On arriving at my hotel the girl called again to
say that she wouldn't be meeting me as she had heard an echo
on my phone and believed that I was a married man calling
from my London apartment and disguising the fact that I was
married !! This was based on no evidence whatsoever. After
reasoning with her she did turn up to meet me in a bar. Well
I presume she did as I had long since gone home. Ridiculous.
-
When living in Hong Kong I
dated a very lovely local girl from Kowloon for a couple of
weeks and we danced and dined out and laughed and went
sightseeing. We never kissed or touched as is the Chinese
way and kept things on a platonic level. One night in a
thunderstorm on the Peak above central Hong Kong we kissed
for the first time and she announced that she had decided
that we would be married and that she intended to see me
every day from now on. Without asking she attempted to move
into my room, brought her things and refused to leave. What
began as a kiss within hours turned into a comic case of
stalking unparalleled in my experience. The phone had to be
kept off and my movements varied. Weeks later I left Hong
Kong and never went back. Be careful who you kiss!
-
I remember dating a girl who
believed she was the worlds greatest liar. She would come
out with lots of amazing stories about who she had been with
and where and it was clear every time that they were made
up. In fact it was so obvious that she was lying that even
her friends would cringe. She would always get very angry if
any questions were asked but the ridiculous thing was that
she really did think I believed her. In fact she was so much
of a liar that to this day it is impossible to speak to her
due to still trying to convince me of untruths.
You could make up excuses for
these kinds of behavior but its always best just to smile and
put it down to experience. Life isn't so serious when dating and
most of the people you meet are lovely. It is the eccentricities
of people that make me laugh. But the ones that hurt are the
ones where people tell lies to fool you. Like the girl I dated
who went to visit her sister in Barcelona. She told me it was
for a few weeks and each week would say she would be back
shortly. After three months she had not returned and it
transpired that she was now actually living in Barcelona and
dating a guy from the US. However she found it easier to keep me
hanging on than tell the truth. These are the people we can do
without.
Be Cautious as Follows:
-
Don't put yourself out on a
limb for a new date
-
Don't travel unnecessarily
unless you are sure
-
Don't believe everything you
are told initially
-
Don't trust everything you
perceive at first
-
Women can be as manipulative
as men can be
-
Do laugh about your dating
mishaps later
-
Have a sense of humor when
dating
-
Try and be philosophical
about the ridiculous nature of events
-
Don't spend too much money
when dating initially
-
Don't expect too much when
dating a lot, just relax
-
Put life and people down to
experience
-
You will kiss a few frogs
before you find a prince
-
Make sure you are prepared
for what you are getting into
-
Always get photos of people
you met on the Internet first
-
Don't let people waste your
time and never be too accommodating
-
If people have wasted your
time don't give a second chance and walk away
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